


I’m Here For You

by Superhero_Obsessed21



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alcohol, Barry Allen Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Sad Barry Allen, SnowBarry - Freeform, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 23:38:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20882558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superhero_Obsessed21/pseuds/Superhero_Obsessed21
Summary: involves Barry dealing with depression he didn’t realize he had. He tries to cope with his feelings in an unhealthy way. Luckily Caitlin is there to help him deal with his feelings in a less harmful way.





	I’m Here For You

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this originally as a part of a series 9/24/19. I am going to take the series down, but i still want the stories themselves to stay.

Today had been just another ordinary day in Central City.

Meta-humans attacked. The Flash kicked butt. And Caitlin tended to Barry’s battle scars.

Now that Caitlin thought about it though, there was one thing that happened today she wouldn’t have considered “ordinary”.

It happened when Barry had returned to Star Labs after stopping a jewelry store robbery late this afternoon.

She was treating him for some cuts and bruises. Nothing out of the ordinary. 

She had been taking care of a gash close to his eyebrow when she noticed the sadness and wetness in his eyes.

“”You ok Barr?”

He denied anything was wrong right away, blamed his watery eyes on the hit he had just taken on the head.  
Caitlin didn’t quite believe him. 

They had been talking yesterday about Iris and Ronnie and how hard she had found it to move on since Ronnie’s death. He had told her he wanted to give Iris as much time as she needed to grieve for Eddie before he would even think of pursuing anything with her. 

There was a moment, she recalled, where he had been staring blankly at nothing. He had seemed distant for a few seconds, like something was wrong. 

Now as she cleaned up her desk, getting her things together before she left for the day, she couldn’t get Barry out of her mind. 

They had become close this past year. He had become like a little brother to her. 

Her phone started buzzing in her pocket reverting her attention away from her thoughts.

“Barry? I was just thinking about you.”

“You were?”

“Oh, ah, yeah, I mean about your injuries from earlier. Did everything heal up ok?”

“Yeah! Speed healing, remember?”

“Of course”, she faked a laugh.  
“Guess it’ s been a long day.”

“Caitlin?”

“Yeah, Barry. Did you need something?”

“Yeah, actually I do.”

She noticed he sounded off.

“What can I help you with?”, she asked.

“I was wondering if you had any more of that mixture of alcohol you had concocted for me a few months ago.”

“ I do have some.” “Are you ok Barr?”

“Yeah, fine.”

She knew he wasn’t.

“How about I meet you in front of Star Labs. We can go to my house, order some dinner, watch some Netflix and relax?”

“I’d like that.”, he said.

“Okay. See you downstairs in a couple of minutes.”

She grabbed four of the alcohol tubes from her cabinet. She had been able to alter the elixir since the last time he used it. Each one would last at least an hour now.

Everyone needs a drink sometimes! And she was always trying to make it so Barry could live as normal of a life as possible.

Barry was already there when she walked out of the main entrance.  
He looked pale, like he didn’t feel well, but that was impossible, she knew that.

She knew he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, so maybe the day’s events had something to do with his current demeanor.

Somehow she didn’t think that was the case. Whatever was going on with him seemed personal.

“Hey Barr.”  
She moved closer to him. He had tears in his bloodshot eyes like he’d been crying for a while.

Now she knew something was wrong!

“Hey”, he said.  
Tears trying to escape his eyes. 

“What’s wrong?”, she asked.

“I really don’t want to talk out here. “Can we talk at your house?”

“Ok”, she said caressing his arm. Let’s get out of here.”

When they arrived at her house, it took her a few minutes to find a parking spot.

While she drove around the lot of the apartment building she kept peeking at Barry. His eyes were red and he looked miserable.

She wondered what could have happened after he left Star Labs. He had seemed normal for the most part today.

Once they got inside she turned on the tv and asked Barry to relax on the couch while she freshened up.

She grabbed two bottles of water, one wine glass and a bottle of red wine from the kitchen.

She entered the room Barry was in, put everything down on the coffee table, and then took a seat next to a very upset Barry Allen.

“Oh, I almost forgot.”, she said pulling Barry’s elixir from her purse.”

“Thanks Cait!”

“You’re welcome Barr!”

She poured herself a glass of wine.

“To friends!”, she said holding up her glass.

“To friends!”, he said holding up his vile.

It went down smooth, in one gulp. She could tell it was relaxing him already.

“What’s going on Barry?”, she said rubbing his thigh for comfort.

“I’m not even sure to be honest.”

“My mother, he said with tears running down his chelas. She was murdered fifteen years ago today.”

“I don’t know why, but It’s hitting me really hard tonight. I haven’t felt this bad in years.”

“I’m so sorry Barry!”

He was crying hard now. She wasn’t sure if she had made the elixir to strong, or if it was just strong enough to help bring his emotions to the surface.

He looked up at her and continued. “I feel like there’s more too it, but I can’t figure out what it is.”, he said.

“I don’t feel good Caitlin!”his voice was breaking he was crying so hard.

She had tears in her eyes now too.

“Come here.”, she said opening her arms up to him.

He accepted the hug, now sobbing into her shirt.

She could feel that he was shaking and he had starting to hiccup.  
She started rubbing his back, hoping to calm him down some.

“Your life has changed so much over the past year Barry. Your body, your relationships.

That got her thinking. Thawne, the singularity, Eddie, Ronnie, his mother. His mother! He hadn’t saved her. He had the chance, but he decided it was the wrong thing to do.

Barry had told her what happened that night he went back in time. He had watched as Thawne stabbed his mother through the heart. He watched the chaos unfold, his father screaming, his other self getting his young self out of there. Once Thawne was gone, he had been able to speak to his mother, stay with her as she died right in front of him. 

“Barr, you witnessed that horrific night all over again only 3 months ago. Last year was awful for all of us, but especially for you. 

She kept rubbing his back.

She wasn’t a phycologist, but she had been Barry’s primary doctor for a while now. 

“Sometimes, we suppress difficult feelings, and when we can’t deal with those feeling properly, until we are able to bring those feelings to the surface, they can make us feel sick. I think that’s what’s happening to you.”

He pulled away from the hug, wiping over his eyes. He seemed to be calming down.

“You ok?, she asked.  
“Yeah. I’m okay.”

“I’ll be right back with a take out menu.”, Caitlin said

“Sounds good.”, he said trying to compose himself.

As soon as she was out of sight though, he opened the other three viles drinking them down. 

When Caitlin returned with the menu he was passed out cold. She saw the empty viles and started to panic. 

Suddenly he sat up, looking around at his surroundings and proceeded to gag. She grabbed a trash can as fast as possible, holding it for him as his body frantically worked to expel the elixir from his stomach. 

They stayed that way for almost 30 minutes. He was alternating between dry heaving and vomiting. The more he got out of his system, the more he was crying. It hurts, he said trying to catch his breath, holding his chest. 

When it finally stopped, she took the barrel to the kitchen and disposed of its contents. 

When she got back to him he had calmed down, leaning back on the couch with his eyes closed. 

She had him lay down on his back and she tenderly massaged his chest.

“I’m sorry Caitlin! I just wanted to feel better.”

“It’s ok Barry! I’m just glad your ok.”

“I’m glad too!”, he said

They spent the entire night on the couch, talking about everything. He talked about that night with his mother, his regrets, his pain. He opened up to her more then he had ever opened up to anyone, even Iris.

When morning came, he felt better. Physically, sure, his metabolism took care of that, but also emotionally. He didn’t feel perfect, but being able to deal with so many emotions he had buried so deep down inside of him, with a friend like Caitlin, was just what he had needed.


End file.
